i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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