I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
