Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
