yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
