So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize
