quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
