i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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