So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize