Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I need water and some morals
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
