I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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