is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
