do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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