dude i'm inner monologue high
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Semen is not good for contacts.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
