tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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