So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
