so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
