I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
