They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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