I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
