And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
