I hate your face
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
