I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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