Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
