508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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