Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
