My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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