just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
