It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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