I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
