butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
