Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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