Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We have so much sex to catch up on
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
