So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
