why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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