you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
