OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Everything about him screamed your future.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
