the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
