I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
