Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
