Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
are you so shy because you have an std?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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