It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Can I color on your dick again?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
