Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
