3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
