We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
