If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
