First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Can I color on your dick again?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
So vagazzling was a success
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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