There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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