Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Operation Purity has been aborted
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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