happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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