toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
