Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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